Just because you are social distancing doesn’t mean you can’t be cute!
Isolation is one of the few ways we can prevent the continued spread of the Coronavirus (COVID-19) and hopefully ensure that this waking nightmare ends soon. Now that Dallas County Judge Clay Jenkins has issued a “shelter-in-place” order, we all have no choice to stay in our houses! It’s more than just a fun way to spend your weekend, y’all. If we all partake in social distancing, it could minimize catastrophic outcomes.
Now, I’m sure you’re all thinking what I’m thinking. How am I going to dress to look and feel my best when I can’t leave my house for non-emergency reasons and there’s really no point in doing anything other than staying in my bed? Well, no fear! I’m here to answer that question for both of us. From my real experience, here is your social distancing wardrobe.
Day 1
Today you are focused on making the most of this social distancing thing! You are going to be productive! You are going to the grocery store (because outdoor walks and essential shopping, like Kroger, are still allowed as long as you stay six feet away from others), and you are not going to physically fight a stranger over the last roll of toilet paper. Instead, you will sit in the shelves of the empty toilet paper aisles and check off your to do list. It is the only place in the store where you will not be in the way, precisely because there is nothing left to buy in this aisle.
For this look, you want to think athleisure with a casual spin. I wore a pair of cool leggings, a loose, tied up T-shirt under a denim jacket, and canvas sneakers. It’s a comfortable look without being sloppy, perfect for crying a little in the grocery store as you watch a mother with children try to figure out a meal from what’s left of the picked over pasta selection.
Day 3
Just because you have all your supplies in order, and you have no excuse to be social until the order is lifted doesn’t mean you have to stop turning out the cute athleisure looks. You have a responsibility to yourself to make yourself feel better! And if putting on a full face of makeup to wear leggings in your house makes you feel better, then you should do it!
For this look, you want to think all black, like a plague doctor, except with a modern twist and without the long bird mask. I wore a pair of Calvin Klein leggings (designer labels should still get a time to shine even during a pandemic), and a black cropped tee. I wore the same sneakers from the day before to take a long, isolated walk up and down the stairs of my apartment so I wouldn’t go crazy. If you’re wondering if my hair is washed, I’ll let you know that it isn’t; I’ll stretch the limits on hair washing at least when no one will see me but my cat and maybe my loud neighbor when I leave for my stairway walks.
Day 5
This is the day where you start to realize that you are running out of activities to do during this period. There’s only so much writing and sewing and journaling and crafting and walking up and down and up and down and up and down the stairs that you can do. You might not want to admit this to yourself, but it is possible you are starting to get bored.
Think glorified pajamas for this look. I wore a cut off sorority tee (it’s not four years, it’s for life!), plus a pair of shorts that I will admit, I have slept in on occasion. Wearing a short little bathrobe made me feel cozy without feeling like I was going to bed, and of course, fashionista that I am, I matched my socks to my slippers. I’m not an animal.
Day 8
Perhaps on this day you want to bring back some whimsy. Perhaps you have started to go a little nuts, and you want your look to reflect that. Perhaps you want to dress in a monochromatic, super pink look themed around a bathrobe to match your apartment which is also all pink because you are a crazy person who loves aggressive expressions of femininity. Perhaps this whole pandemic is making your too depressed to do laundry so all that is left to wear is a bathrobe and you are using whimsy as an excuse to continue procrastinating.
For this look, you will need to start with the most ridiculous bathrobe you own. Does it make you feel a little silly? Maybe. But does it also make you sort of feel like a princess and enjoy not taking yourself too seriously when the world is spiraling into chaos? Yes. My bathrobe is made from pink terry cloth and it’s ruffled all along the lapel and the cuffs, which just makes me feel extra fun. It’s too long for me, so it flares like a cape when I walk, which is rarely, because where would I go during this time and even if I could why would I leave the house in a bathrobe?
What you wear under the bathrobe doesn’t matter, because you are going to bundle yourself up like it’s a self-swaddling contest. Will you just go commando under this? That’s up to you. I paired this look with mismatched pink socks that don't match each other, but that do match the whole vibe. And voila! You’re on your way to looking like a low budget Disney princess!
Day 10
You are beginning to get discouraged. Is there any point in taking care of yourself when there is seemingly no end to this viral plague? Are the same few people who refuse to stay home going to repeatedly ruin it for everything by compounding the spread of the virus? Are you ever going to wash your hair again?
Don’t bother wearing a bra for this look. Who cares? Nobody will see you and you are so uncomfortable from being in your house with no end that you will do anything to maintain a semblance of comfort. Just wear a bathrobe. Nobody gives a damn, certainly not me.
I wore matching socks from embroidered with “OMG” (not DMG), to represent “oh my god, I can’t believe this is happening,” “omg I can’t stop this recurring panic that all of my relatives are going to be infected,” “oh my god how am I going to pay my bills when my job makes it impossible to work from home,” “oh my god I feel so terrible for all the people missing major milestones like the seniors who might not get to walk the stage at graduation or the weddings that have been planned to perfection and will now have to be canceled or the pregnant mothers who are having to be isolated from their emotional/social support systems for the good of their baby,” “omg I think the crashing of the economy is inevitable” “oh my god is society as we know it going to shut down” and all of that fun stuff.
Day 12
Panic has metastasized into a deep depression. Your only friend is your cat and you big bag of potato chips that you have been hoarding. Your cat is kind of disgusted with you and the chips. She stays home all day long, so she doesn’t understand why you are complaining. You are paralyzed with panic, immobilized with indecision, unsure of what we as a society can do. It’s possible you are starting to give up.
Gray sweatpants, gray T-shirt, grayish socks. Who cares? You pull your hair into pigtails because it’s so dirty that you don’t give a damn anymore. You sit on the floor at all times. You’re not deserving of a grown up chair. You skin is beyond dry from obsessive hand washing as if that and that alone will protect you. You cling to your sour cream and onion chips and pray to the Hand Sanitizer Gods that this will be over soon.
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